One of the things I did over the Christmas break was to watch the second of the Narnia films, "Prince Caspian". I enjoyed it though it was not as good as the "The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe" and I have it on good authority that "The Voyage of The Dawn Treader" is better. Aslan does not appear in it that much but one thing he say to Lucy is repeated. He says "Things never happen the same way twice, dear one"

 At the beginning of a new year it often a time not just for looking forward but also for looking back. I know from experience, as we get older, the temptation to do this grows! So often we hanker after things of the past or resist change. Some people risk averse and prefer the status quo, this seems to me to be contrary to the life of a disciple of Jesus.

In Isaiah 43:18-19 God declares "Forget the Former Things, do not dwell on the past, See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you  not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert & streams in the wasteland."

He is the God of new beginnings. In 2 Corinthians 5:17 it says "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" The option of not changing isn't given. Those who know Christ have changed and will go on changing as they increase from glory to glory (2:Cor 3:18) 

Sometimes it might be our desire that things should stay the same, but it is not His! As we look forward there is much to be done and it will not be achieved by business as usual. Therefore embrace God given change and get on with the task He has called you to. God wants to change you and through you His world. Plenty to be getting on with then......

It's the day before 2011 and one of the thoughts I have decided to write about is one of 2010's recurring thoughts; New Atheism. As the Kingdom of God advances so will the opposition but it is never the less disconcerting. For many years the "Archbishop" of new atheism has been Richard Dawkins. In many ways he helps to define the difference between atheism and so called "new atheism". Atheists can be described as those who do not believe in the existence of God. New atheists of course do not believe in God but are also passionate and prostelitize about not only the non-existence of God but also the stupidity and even arrogance of any people of faith. Many years ago I heard Dawkins on BBC Radio 4 not only making the case for evolution but also the ridiculousness of a belief in God. He was not only challenging the truth of the account in Genesis but also any role for a designer. At that point he would not even engage in  a discussion about faith. I remember thinking him to be an intellectual fascist, indeed I made the point later that day in college! As time moved on Dawkins appeared to shift his focus from almost ignoring God, which he argued was a pointless debate as God was irrelevant, to taking multiple opportunities to attack people of faith. In many ways this culminated with the publication of "The God Delusion".  Many Christians were annoyed and upset and responded by attacking the author. 

Then enter centre stage Christopher Hitchens who took the attack to another level. A long time critic of Christianity he then stepped it all up a gear when he wrote "God is Not Great...How religion poisons everything". It was an outright full face attack on God and all people of faith. 

In the same decade you had the the production of "Jerry Springer-The Opera". In many ways this was a vile piece of art. Its depiction of Jesus was clearly offensive to Christians. This climaxed when the BBC decided to broadcast the show and militant "Christians" sent death threats to those involved. When it went on tour, staff in theatres were terrified of Christians and the church. This was, I believe, not only really sad but a huge own goal from some in the church. I remember meeting one of the senior staff members from the Wales Millennium Centre and apologising for how Christians had made her feel.  The musical was co-written by comedian Stewart Lee. Maybe as a way of responding to the attacks he received from church, a number of other notable comedians began not just to make jokes about God but in some ways began to "rant" within their acts about theism, the church and the people of God. Prominent in these are some very funny people including Ricky Gervais, Alan Davies, Eddie Izzard, Ross Noble, Tim Minchin, Dara O Briain, Chris Addison, Ed Byrne and Stephen Fry to name many out of many more! It is interesting to note that when they go on the attack very often it is against Christians. It maybe that few have the courage to attack muslims for fear of a response. I watch many of these performers when they are on "Mock the Week", QI or one of the many other comedy shows on UK tv. I will be honest to say that their attacks against the church and Christians I find not only difficult to listen to but in the main not funny. I think this is not just because it offends the single most important thing in my life but often because it is a tirade of intolerance by the comedian in question which is simply not amusing to anyone.

So how should Christians respond to Hitchen, Dawkins and the rest of the comedians? One of the things that new atheists object  to about Christians is their certainty in uncertain times. They also suggest there is an intolerance amongst the church. To be fair to them if the church wishes to define itself by what it's against such as homosexuality, abortion, equality, then they may have a point. Their response  is to be intolerant of the church and its people. It is inappropriate for Christians to respond in anger. In Matthew 26:52 Jesus says "for all who draw the sword will die by the sword". The thing that Christians and by association the church should be known for should be grace. What if our response to all these attacks was not to attack but to defend Jesus by representing Him through loving those who attack Him? Let's be honest in most cases we are not even defending Jesus. Rather, we are defending ourselves. It is not a matter of faith but of vanity! 

If we truly believe the greatest of these is love then that should be the measure of our behaviour. By exhibiting grace we not only imitate Christ (1: Cor 11:1)  we disarm our detractors by behaving counter to the prevailing culture. This is our defence. We are not simply accepting their insults. Rather , we are dealing them the ultimate blow by acting as Christ would. Remember he dealt with those who wanted to kill him by dying for them. This was then the biggest attack on evil, the ultimate act of grace and the pattern for His believers.

On Christmas Eve, BBC 5 Live presenter, and outspoken new atheist, Richard Bacon tweeted a message on twitter asking if it was wrong for an atheist to go to church to sing carols. I do not normally respond to so called "celebrity" tweets but I did respond by telling him to go and enjoy himself and I also told him that regardless of him not believing in God, God believed in him! Now I am aware that it is a bit of a cliche but it is also truth. God loves everyone even those who refuse accept His existence.

Therefore in 2011 let's show respect, grace and love to Dawkins, Hitchens and Gervais it's what Jesus would do.

Happy New Year

As predicted, black Friday was a bit of a non-event. Most people took the sensible option and stayed at home. We even finished the shift early not that helped me get to sleep sooner than I normally would.

8am Lesley got a call from one of her staff. I had been asleep for 2.5 hrs at that point. I lay awake until about 9.20am when I slipped gently into slumber once more. At 9.40am by daughter called me to say she was stuck in a local hotel and could I pick her up! Well Dad's are made for days like this so I got up, dragged some clothes on and began to literally dig my car out of the snow. Slowly heading into Cardiff Bay I collected Beci and assorted others and prepared to deliver them to Llandaff. Passing Pontcanna fields, a BMW that must have been being driven by a chimp began to slow down as we approached the hill. A basic mistake in these conditions meaning that we were forced to stop. Two of the passengers got out to assist just as the my car got traction meaning I could not stop until I got to the top of the hill. Regretfully for them, not even then as a bus was behind me so I had to drive 2 miles before I could turn around to collect them!

I then rushed home and got changed then headed back into town to attend the wedding of Mark Beacher & Meg Davies. Lesley and I were honoured to be able to pray for their marriage publicly at the service. Beci came with us and took advantage of the "no shows" due to the weather and also came to the reception. What a lovely day it was. Apparently as Meg began to plan the day she began to pray for snow. She certainly got her prayers answered!

The only annoying thing for me was I was completely knackered and was starting with a cold. The news that all the church services were cancelled on Sunday meant that I could sleep late the next day.

When I woke up the next morning my nose was streaming and my head was pounding. The thing is I knew if I got out of bed I would not be able to do nothing. So with the permission of my wonderful wife, I stayed put. Now generally she is wonderful but yesterday she put sealer on the sink, cleaned the house and painted part of the kitchen. I on the other hand faffed about on the internet and caught up with a couple of programmes on iplayer as well as read the Christmas edition of the Radio Times! By about 4pm I felt a bit better but was also completely stir crazy. I then made the big effore to move to the settee for the rest of the day!

Last night was the final of "The Apprentice" it is one of my favourite programmes and this is the first series that Lesley has watched. She has loved it and taken the punditry really seriously! I think on balance was a worthy winner. It always makes me think about Sugar's style of leadership and if any of it could be applied to my situation. From a style perspective I think very little but there is no doubt that people having very clearly stated tasks, boundaries and feedback has much to commend it.

After a short break, snow has returned to the fair city of Cardiff. Indeed it is falling from the sky as I write this from my desk in the Ignite office. In a act of sheer pig headedness I decided to head to the office. There were two real reasons one quite practical, the other very male! Firstly, I needed to get petrol and pick up various supplies for the Street Pastors shift tonight. The other was that I just wanted to prove I could do it!

It a fact that snow always catches people out in the UK. It is always like we did not expect it however much the weather forecasters have told us that it is on its way. Last night on the news I heard a newscaster say "The unseasonal weather will continue througho ut the weekend". Is it just me or is that a ridiculous thing to say? We live in Europe and its winter, what is the right season for snow if it's not winter?

Schools are closed, roads are packed with slow moving traffic and no doubt supermarkets will be crowded with people buying supplies in case this weather lasts for the whole winter! Tomorrow a young couple from Ignite, Mark and Meg are getting married and whilst the snow will make for stunning photos I pray that the weather will not cause travel problems for those who are intending to attend this most special of days.

I did a quick search through the bible around the word 'snow'. many would know that it talks of our sins being washed as white as snow. As I look out on the car park from my window, that seems even more remarkable than normal. If we consider our lives in the imagery that is sometimes used to illustrate the tarred lungs of a smoker (gross I know but are you getting it?) then imagine the fact that the blood of Jesus transforms this to being as white as snow. My previous blog amply illustrates that His blood will never fail us. Incredible, I think!

Then there is the fact that God has dominion over the weather:

God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; 
   he does great things beyond our understanding. 
   He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ 
   and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’ 
  So that everyone he has made may know his work, 
   he stops all people from their labor. 
  The animals take cover; 
   they remain in their dens. 
  The tempest comes out from its chamber, 
   the cold from the driving winds. 
   The breath of God produces ice, 
   and the broad waters become frozen. 
   He loads the clouds with moisture; 
   he scatters his lightning through them. 
   At his direction they swirl around 
   over the face of the whole earth 
   to do whatever he commands them. 
   He brings the clouds to punish people, 
   or to water his earth and show his love.

 Job 37: 5-13

Last year I did a tour with Ernie Haase & Signature Sound . As we arrived in each country in Europe it was covered in snow. On one date we arrived in Copenhagen. Sat in the taxi talking with the driver I mentioned the fact that it was -10 and there was snow on the ground. "When did this weather start?" I asked. "The day the world leaders came to Copenhagen to talk about global warming!" He told me. After I had finished laughing I remembered another scripture from the book of Job which reads:

 “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow 
   or seen the storehouses of the hail, 
 which I reserve for times of trouble, 
   for days of war and battle? 
 What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed, 
   or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth? 
 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, 
   and a path for the thunderstorm, 
 to water a land where no one lives, 
   an uninhabited desert, 
 to satisfy a desolate wasteland 
   and make it sprout with grass? 
 Does the rain have a father? 
   Who fathers the drops of dew? 
 From whose womb comes the ice? 
   Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens 
 when the waters become hard as stone, 
   when the surface of the deep is frozen?

In the end we have to be aware that this is the God's earth and everything in it.(Psalm 24:1). I am comforted from that fact on the unseasonably cold winters day!

It is not often that I post two blogs in a day. never mind two in an hour but this is the exception. A old friend of mine, having read my last blog sent me a note on facebook simply saying have you seen the the video of the tramp and Tom Waits singing "Jesus Blood Never Failed Me Yet" ? I had not. I googled it found the video and the story and wanted to share both. The track was recorded and looped by Gavin Bryars. At some point later American legend Tom Waits duetted on it. Watch the video. Read the story, be prepared to be moved not only with the emotion but also with the truth. Jesus blood will NEVER fail you

Here is the story according to Gavin Bryars:

Jesus Blood Never Failed Me Yet

In 1971, when I lived in London, I was working with a friend, Alan Power, on a film about people living rough in the area around Elephant and Castle and Waterloo Station. In the course of being filmed, some people broke into drunken song - sometimes bits of opera, sometimes sentimental ballads - and one, who in fact did not drink, sang a religious song "Jesus' Blood Never Failed Me Yet". This was not ultimately used in the film and I was given all the unused sections of tape, including this one.

When I played it at home, I found that his singing was in tune with my piano, and I improvised a simple accompaniment. I noticed, too, that the first section of the song - 13 bars in length - formed an effective loop which repeated in a slightly unpredictable way. I took the tape loop to Leicester, where I was working in the Fine Art Department, and copied the loop onto a continuous reel of tape, thinking about perhaps adding an orchestrated accompaniment to this. The door of the recording room opened on to one of the large painting studios and I left the tape copying, with the door open, while I went to have a cup of coffee. When I came back I found the normally lively room unnaturally subdued. People were moving about much more slowly than usual and a few were sitting alone, quietly weeping.

I was puzzled until I realised that the tape was still playing and that they had been overcome by the old man's singing. This convinced me of the emotional power of the music and of the possibilities offered by adding a simple, though gradually evolving, orchestral accompaniment that respected the tramp's nobility and simple faith. Although he died before he could hear what I had done with his singing, the piece remains as an eloquent, but understated testimony to his spirit and optimism.

The piece was originally recorded on Brian Eno's Obscure label in 1975 and a substantially revised and extended version for Point Records in 1993. The version which is played by my ensemble was specially created in 1993 to coincided with this last recording.

Gavin Bryars.

I am aware that from time to time I say or think  I do not want to be the "bad guy". What I mean by this is that in my role of CEO and as a Dad, I sometimes have to make difficult decisions. Occasionally, I have to hold someone accountable or even discipline them. It's not something I enjoy. I mean who would? No one likes to be the bad guy!

However, one of the realities of leadership is that its not all about glory. People need and expect boundaries. There is something within most of us that from time to time means that we will "push the envelope", see what we can get away with, maybe even play truant from our responsibilities. The role of the leader is to look to restore people who are not operating within the agreed frameworks. If s/he does not then they are playing truant from their role.

I have said before that as disciples we are called to serve. Some however are given the extra responsibility to serve through leadership. Whilst everyone wants to be liked, wants to be popular this is not the primary requirement of the leader. Paul tells the Roman church that leaders should "lead diligently".(Rom 12:8)  Diligence is the act of doing all things efficiently and relentlessly to the best of one's ability in order to achieve success in every endeavour. 

This been the case then occasionally the leader will have to risk popularity in order to fulfil his calling from God. We would do well to remember that leadership carries responsibility. James 3:1 makes it clear that God will judge leaders more harshly than followers. Therefore the leader should take the responsibility seriously and in fear of the Lord.

This should also mean the that the leader is constructive, positive and appropriate. It is not about "lording over people" or being nasty. However how ever hard s/he tries, he maybe misunderstood by others. This is the cost of leadership.

So am I prepared to be the bad guy. Well I hope so because I serve God not man, my faith is in Him not them and it should be Him I fear not unpopularity!

It is interesting for me to think about my role and calling. I want to ensure I am being the man God wants me to be and to be about His work. Please understand as noble as this sounds it is not a constant preoccupation, but perhaps it should be?

Today a member of my staff was asking me why I they did not see me operate very often in a specific role. Their view was that I was gifted in it and it was strange I did so little in this area. As they were sharing their thinking with me I was not just flattered but challenged. If this was true was I squandering a gift?

(I am aware that I am being vague but I am not ready to share the specific area because I am not sure whether I should do more in this area and the purpose of this blog is not to garner opinions, support or advice on this. Rather it is to consider the challenge of arriving at a decision and/or conclusion)

The area under discussion was not something I had not thought about myself. Rather I was and am confused about it. So why is it rarely in evidence?

There are a few possibilities:

1) Lack of confidence  Perhaps I can do this thing to a certain extent, but deep down I wonder, am I any good at it. What if I think I have ability and I am deluded?

2) Lack of Opportunity  Maybe I know I can do it but there is little opportunity for me to exercise this gift

3) Lack of Time Whether there is a real lack of time or others assume I am too busy so they never ask me to operate in this area of my gifting. Of course there are only so many hours in a day so if I begin to do some things more I need to do other things less.

My colleague suggested I should make it known that I am willing and able to offer my services. This then brings another dilemma. Do I want to be my own advocate? What if I offer and am rejected?

There is another thing to consider. Even if you can do something, it does not necessarily mean you should. There has to be priorities. I am aware that there are things  that even though I could have done them in the past I did not because others adequately fulfilled the function. Rather than feeling I wasted my gift, I used others I had that were in short supply on the team. As the group dynamic changed, so did my role.

Ultimately, questions like this have to be laid before the father. Does He want me to use this particular part of my ability for His work or is it simply vanity? So prayer, reflection, being in the word, conversation with people I trust will ultimately reveal what He would have me do. In the end that is all that matters, His will, not mine. That is because the father knows what's best and true calling is to operate in that place.

However, until He gives me direction there is that uncertainty that is so unwelcome to a control freak like me!

Confused? You should try living in my head!

In previous posts I have written about hearing the voice of God, the prompting of the Holy Spirit and recognising Him when he is speaking to you. Sometimes it can come in unconventional ways. This blog is a reflection on one of those "left-field" heavenly communications.

A few weeks I heard for the first time, the work "Not Waving But Drowning" by the English poet & novelist, Stevie Smith. It touched something within me but I was not able to locate exactly what it was. I searched for it on google and read it. I found it moving but for some reason I did not know why.

On Sunday I was on my way to the last Ignite event . I switched on the radio in my car and tuned it to BBC Radio 4. The programme captured my attention immediately as it started with an infomercial the BBC used to show when I was a young boy about a sailor at sea who is in trouble and the belated assistance that he receives from a couple on the beach. If you recognise the cartoon image here,

then you will know what I mean. If not, well I don't think it changes the substance of what I am writing too much! (If you want background on this and maybe even see the advertisement then you can find it all here.

I then realised it was to be a programme about the poem I heard a few weeks before. I felt a quickening in my spirit as it was read aloud:

I knew immediately God was using this poem to speak to me. The meaning of the poem which had been vague previously, immediately made total sense and informed my experience.

In many ways it is a tragic poem and despite my previous ignorance, it is one of the most popular poems in the UK. What struck me was when the poem starts, the subject is already dead. His "moaning" only serves to inform the reader of the tragedy. That perhaps if we had heard him it could have been prevented. Was his waving a clear sign from him which we had misread or was his waving a disguise to hide the reality of his life?

All these thoughts were racing through my mind as I drove through the country lanes between the office and the venue. What is clear, it seems to me, is that the subjects situation had not changed he was always cold, faraway and on the edge of drowning. What had changed was the understanding of the other voice in the poem.

The author Stevie Smith,(1902-1971) was never married, suffered from a nervous breakdown, attempted suicide was a tory then radical left winger. Intellectually she suggested there was no God but referred to herself as a lapsed atheist as she could not shake the truth of her experience of God. Like most of us she was a mass of contradictions. Unlike many she seemed able to exist and thrive in the place of contradiction.

Why is it that 30 years on from her death, this her most famous poem, still speaks to people? I suspect that it is because she has hit on a truth that so many of us recognise perhaps not just in others but also ourselves. That is that there is a significant difference between our external projection and the reality of our internal experience. The falsehood of what we do and the truth of what we think. Every time lead a shift with Cardiff Street Pastors  I see literally thousands of people out partying in the city centre of our nations capital. Early in the evening there is much laughter and jollity but as the night wears on the reality of the the waving revellers becomes evident as more and more of them reveal themselves as being desperately out of their depth. Not Waving But Drowning.The signs are all around us. Every time a serial killer is identified, neighbours seem to suggest that "he was just a normal guy, he kept himself to himself" Not Waving But Drowning.

Churches have people who are seen worshipping on one Sunday whose lives have imploded the following week as wives leave husbands, men leave their families and people leave their faith. What was that arms in the air adoration so evident in charismatic meetings about then? Not Waving But Drowning. 

Yesterday I talked with a friend of mine whose life has fallen apart. Everything he once held dear it seems has been taken from him. He is desperately trying to hold onto the vestiges of his faith. As I saw the missed communication I guessed that he was in a bad way and I considered putting off the call I mean did I need someone else's problems on top of my own? Pushing past my selfish self, I put in the call. He was in a bad way. I think God gave me some words for him. His problems did not go away, it is still tough but perhaps he has a better understanding that he is not on his own. Those who did not know him would have looked at him and thought all in his life was great. Truth is that he was calling out for help. Did we miss the signs, he was Not Waving But Drowning.

As a Christian, i must remind my self that there is no hiding from God. He knows everything about me. He is familiar with all my ways (Psalm 139). There is no hiding place from him not physically or in my thought life. When I stop thinking about Him he is not ignoring me. Indeed the as His disciples the day of the mask should have either gone or at least should be in the process of being stripped off. 2:Corinthians 3:18 says  "And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit"

We are called to become more like him each and every day. As Paul tells us: "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV). It is a tough ask but no one said following the carpenters way was going to be easy. 

At its heart I think that God was using this poem to call  me to be transparent in the reality of my life and experience. More than that to be a vigilant coastguard, being prepared to rescue those who had become tired, had got out of their depth, had pushed too far on their own strength, who had been engulfed by the unexpected wave those who were

Not Waving But Drowning

What about you?